Welcoming 2018

As I write this blog, I am sitting by my lonesome in this big dining table of our AirBnB rental in Paris, France. The essentials for the New Year’s Eve dinner have been laid out by my husband, and he is now resting in our room before we jointly prepare our small feast.  Both teenaged kids are glued to their devices – she in the second bedroom, and he in the living room-cum-3rd bedroom with a pull out bed.

Christmas 2017 and New Year 2018 mark the first time I am spending the holidays away from my country of birth, the Philippines. Usually, my side of the family gather in my house on Christmas Eve, partaking of the usual Filipino noche buena (Christmas Eve dinner), then the exchange of gifts right after.  There is much joy amidst the clutter of torn gift-wrapping papers and in the piles of gifts that each one of us get from each family.  We are a total of 5 families and 20 persons, sometimes a little less as some have been abroad at different times.  Once the clutter has been put away, we embark on a friendly (but very competitive) dance challenge using Kinect with each round’s winner getting a cash prize.

This is my second Christmas as a married woman, and my husband wanted our small blended family to spend the holidays in Paris.  Though I have separation anxiety from my bigger extended family and the traditions of Christmas past, I understand that I now have a new family of my own and therefore, would need to create our own Christmas traditions. Sad as this may seem for me and my daughter, we also were excited about experiencing Christmas in a colder climate and in the City of Lights.

As the new year ushers in, I give thanks to a wonderful 2017. Challenging career-wise, but perfectly balanced by a more peaceful existence without the usual demands of the workplace.  It has also been a year of traveling to a lot of places I have never been to before, as the husband and I embarked on a 45 days honeymoon to 10 countries and 15 cities in Europe. In fact, our Paris holidays is already the third time I have been in this city this year!

For 2018, I could only hope and pray to have the patience and understanding for a very challenging part of my new life.

The Decluttering Project

I failed to write a blog entry for two days as I was busy with my never-ending decluttering work.  It has been a slow process and I am not anywhere near the finish line!  But a few months ago, I was able to get rid of tons of documents and old bills that have just been sitting around and have managed to reduce the clutter in my office by more than half.

I know I work best when there is a deadline.  This time, I have three weeks left – two weeks to purge, reorganize and relocate stuff in order to convert my office into a third bedroom (which was its original purpose anyway), and a week to reorganize our pantry. I gained a stepson and I’d like him to have a comfortable space whenever he visits which is like a maximum of two times in a year and two months at any given time.  Other than those times, it should serve as a scaled down office.

Most of the remaining items are in the ground floor storage room and on the roof deck. The last two days were spent on the latter with

the aid of someone I occasionally hire to help out in the house.  She went home with loads of toys, clothes, bags and some small appliances that I told her she can open a second-hand store!

Though I am no expert in decluttering, here are some guidelines that I practice :

1.  Go from room to room.  Instead of taking a huge task right away, I work on one room at a time. And once that’s done, I make sure to keep it that way and not bring in unnecessary clutter again.
2.  Have mini decluttering sessions at least once a month. Doing it once or twice a year makes the task too daunting. A day or two every month makes it more manageable.
3. You’ve unearthed that nice looking dress that you have not even seen for the last three years? Do not even think about keeping it again.   That goes for everything else. If you haven’t seen it or used it for two years (or even one), that means you never really needed it and you need to just dispose of them completely.
4. Organize and label things properlyso they’re easier to find.
5. Mementos from past relationships belong to the past and the trash. Throw them away.
6. Anything you can find on the internet need not have duplicates like home and fashion magazines.
7. Don’t regret parting with things if they do not serve you any purpose. Only keep what is essential.
8. Don’t be ashamed to sell your excess belongings. You’ve spent for them and if they still look good and can serve someone else’s purpose, why not make money out of them?  Or, you can always give them away for free!
9. Do not bring in any more clutter into the house.  For me, it means avoiding unnecessary shopping.  Unless it was something I absolutely needed, I didn’t buy it. This applied to household items, clothes, bags, shoes, accessories.

The more open spaces I see in our home, the more I feel there is positive energy flowing thru it.  And it gives me a sense of being light, akin to unburdening emotional and physical stress. And for me, this is an essential part of my goal to transition to a simpler life where I am keeping only the things that make me happy.

Finally, New York City!

Okay, I have a confession to make.

I have done a lot of traveling for work and vacation in some of the biggest and most exciting cities in the world.

But though I could afford it, I have never been to two of the greatest cities in the world – Paris and New York City.  Did I hear you say, “What???”

Yes, dear friends. Never. Been. There.  Until I turned 50.

But now, I understand why.  And I will tell you about New York this time.

New York was a dare. The man was in love. The woman, about to fall too. But both coming from long term relationships that didn’t work, and considering their ages, they didn’t want to waste their time being in a relationship that they didn’t feel right about. He is based in New York. She had a life in Manila.

One day, she decided that they had to be together, one place, one time, just the two of them, so she would know if the relationship was worth pursuing or whether to cut it short quickly if there was no future to it. He dared her to come to NY as he couldn’t get away from work. Less than 48 hours later, she was on a plane to decide her future.

She flew 17,000 miles just for a weekend stay. He made it worth her while. Gifts that were paired with each course of the first dinner they had at his home. A night spent watching the musical Beautiful to surprise the Carole King fan in her. His knowledgeable telling of history at the museums they visited. The quiet walks they took at the Cloisters. Mornings spent singing their favorite songs, he on the guitar and she, singing her heart out. More than these, there was an overall feeling of warmth, familiarity, a sense of calm. More importantly, he made her feel the love that she realized she deserved all the years before.

That, in a nutshell, was how we knew we would be together for the rest of our lives.  The weekend trip was the culmination of our individual journeys, different paths that were taken from our common origin spiced by triumphs and failures along the way.  We just felt natural, like two long-lost friends who have finally found their way back to each other. And knowing that in spite the distance and the different choices we have made, there were more than enough common threads that we could weave together to form a beautiful tapestry.

New York was love.  First, for the man who was destined to become my life partner. Second, because it holds a greater meaning for me than just being a beautiful destination. Maybe that’s why I have never been there before. It had to be at a time, however late in life, where I could see it thru the eyes of a local, the man I love.

Pointe du Hoc, Normandy Coast, France

To prepare the daughter for our visit to the Normandy beaches, we watched the 1962 war film The Longest Day at home.  In Arromanches, we spent our first night watching Saving Private Ryan again.  I really don’t like movie scenes depicting blood and gore and would instinctively turn my head away from the screen.  However, I did not expect that the trip to the now-peaceful-tourist site Pointe du Hoc would cause me more pain.

Point du Hoc, the highest point between Utah Beach and Omaha Beach, was a German-fortified area with concrete casements and gun pits. On D-Day, the US Army Rangers captured the place after scaling the cliffs, and around 90 men remained out of the 225 plus who were part of the assault. To know what went down during D-Day, visit the page of the American Battle Monuments Commission.

Today, the place features a museum and a memorial dedicated to the battle.  What gave me goosebumps and a feeling of sadness is walking around the bomb crater-filled area, going inside the observation bunkers and ammunition shelters and taking in the views of the promontory.  I just needed to close my eyes momentarily to feel the horror of war, to remember the stories of family members who’ve gone thru it, and to be thankful that I have not experienced anything close to it.

The photos from Pointe du Hoc, plus some from Omaha Beach, are the last ones that I would take of the rest of our visit to the Normandy coastline.

Pointe du Hoc

Omaha Beach

Arromanches-les-Bains, France (Part 2)

We arrived at Arromanches after getting lost (or taking the longer route) from our visit to Mont St. Michel.  For some reason, the GPS wasn’t working properly and I would drive endlessly thru the highway then back.  It was a stressful time for me because it was my first time driving in France and using a vehicle I am not familiar with, so I was just literally driving and depending on my designated navigator – the hubby.

Finally, close to dark, we found our home for the next two days.

Photo from the Maison de Pêcheur AirBnB site

The place is a quaint fisherman’s house located in a quiet street in the town, right behind the church.  It is perfect for our family of four and had the amenities we’d always look for in a rental (nice fully-equipped kitchen, fast internet, comfortable beds, and a very clean bathroom, among others). It also looked like its interiors were recently renovated and refurbished while outside, there was a small sunny court which unfortunately we didn’t use as it was a bit cold at that time. Parking is available right across the street (see my white Toyota hybrid rental?) and the house is a short 5 min. walk to the restaurants and to the beach.

I’d definitely recommend this to friends traveling to the Normandy region. To know more about this AirBnB rental, including good reviews, please visit Christian’s Maison de Pêcheur.

Arromanches-les-Baines, France (Part 1)

This year’s spring break vacation in France included a trip to Arromanches-les-Baines which served as our base for our visits to Mont St. Michel, the D-Day beaches and war museums.  Our 17 year old  son is into anything military while the 14 year old daughter has studied World War history this school year and as such, was excited to be in the middle of where it happened. Arromanches-les-Baines was a historic place in the Normandy landings where an artificial port was built to unload supplies and troops.

We arrived early in spring and because of that, there were only a very few tourists. The walk from our AirBnB house to the beach and the main street was short and because the streets were so quiet (no cars nor people moving around at night), the place looked a bit eerie.  Actually, it seemed to me that we were in a huge Hollywood back lot, with set pieces surrounding us, ready for filming the following day. There I go with my producer’s hat!

Next on Arromanches-les-Baines : our AirBnB place.

The Sky Deck View Bar – One of Manila, Philippines’ Best Views

If stunning sunset views and early cocktails are your thing, or even if they’re not, you have to check out the Sky Deck View Bar of The Bayleaf Hotel in Intramuros.

Image from The Bayleaf Intramuros’ website.

Image from The Bayleaf Intramuros’ website.

I have heard about this place a long time ago but never got the chance to visit until a couple of months ago.  It was a time when Manila is usually quiet (Holy Week) and my closest friends and I enjoy the traffic-free streets as most people are on vacation.  We went on a Thursday and one of us had the foresight to make a reservation which was a wise decision.  Who would have thought the place is fully-booked on a Holy Thursday?

My daughter and I arrived early, 5:15pm, and the place immediately took my breath away,  We were seated on the right side as you enter the place, with a magnificent view of the Intramuros Golf course and a direct view of the famous Manila Bay sunset.  It was summer but it was cool, but women should be prepared to secure their hair in place otherwise, they’ll have their hair going in all directions, blown by the wind.

The dinner buffet was served early and at less than Php 800.00 per person, it was a great deal. There were a good number and variety of main dishes (Korean Beef Stew, Chicken Pastel, Grilled Blue Marlin and Chicken, among others), a soup, salad and dessert bar (sorry, wasn’t able to take photos of everything).  My favorites were their Signature Bagnet (crispy fried pork belly), the Roasted Beef Short Plate and the Ensaymada Pudding (pudding, creme anglaise, mango balls).

The daughter opted for the All Day Beef Tapa which was tender and flavorful, and came in a large bowl, more than enough to satisfy the appetite of one person.

For more pictures and their complete menu, go here.  The Sky Deck View Bar is open from 5pm to 1am, Mon-Sun, and you can call +632 318 5000 for reservations.

The Bayleaf Intramuros has three other restaurants to serve you – 9 Spoons (a Penthouse All Day Dining Restaurant), the Cioccolata Churros Café and next on our list, Rafaelle Woodfired Pizza.

Make Room for Mr. Right

Let me tell you how Mr. Right came about.  But first, let us take a slight detour.

I was in a 10 year old relationship that was not headed anywhere.  It started as a partnership based on a shared passion for an art, no relationship labels, no expectations. Though there were a lot of things that weren’t right to begin with, I forged on, it being a comfortable and convenient arrangement.  But overtime, a person’s feelings and needs change and somewhere in the middle of that long term union, I wanted more.  Or I thought I did. On hindsight, I was really in the wrong relationship with the wrong person.  Perhaps, I really wanted out but was just afraid to be alone.

One day, I came to the realization that it must end. No matter how painful, how crippling. It has to end. And so I made the move. Just like that. Quit the relationship cold turkey.

I spent a few months alone. Friends in the know supported my decision.

One night, I asked my daughter to pray with me. I asked her to help me pray for a man to come into our lives.  Someone who is intelligent, smart, accomplished, financially stable. Someone who can dance, enjoys the same kind of music as I do and plays a musical instrument.  Someone who loves films and the theater. Someone I can always have an intelligent conversation with, but with whom I can also laugh silly with. Someone who can be a  good father to her.  But I ended the prayer saying that if it’s God’s will that I’d be single forever, then I would whole-heartedly accept it.

Barely two months after that night, I met someone. It was Valentine’s Day.

In the days following that, in all the hours spent talking with each other on a daily basis, it became more apparent that he was my answered prayer. Everything on the list, checked!

It is just amazing how within a few months of making that hard decision of leaving someone who was wrong for me, someone who was the right one finally came into my life.

Create the space and it will be filled, in God’s perfect time.

A Prelude to a Wedding

I cannot remember the first time he proposed to me or how many times he had asked the question after.

During our courtship stage, he would always ask me questions out of nowhere. I would comment on how beautiful his view of the park is and he would answer “would you come live with me?”.  He waits for every opportunity, for every opening where he could let me picture a life with him. Of course, I would dismiss it as mere lip service, or perhaps a boldness that he could only muster because he is on the opposite side of the globe talking to me. Eventually, he asked me outright if I would marry him, to which I answered, “ask me in person”.

One day, he asked me about my ideas for a ring.  He doesn’t like surprises. He is not one to buy anything and surprise me with it. He’d rather ask me exactly what I want and give me that, because he wants to make sure that each gift is truly appreciated and is what I like.  Being the practical woman that I am, I told him I’d rather have something with my birthstone (a more reasonable option than the traditional ring) and he even asked me to send pictures for reference.

He came to see me again during the summer. As he always does, he had with him things for the house, and gifts for me that we have spoken about before.  The day went on but as nighttime fell, he told me that he had one last gift for me. We were in our room. He said that he would have given the last item to me during our trip outside the country, which was happening in a few days, but couldn’t really wait ’til then. He reached into his bag and brought out something and opened the small, black box that contained a lovely ring, exactly how I described it!  And he asked me again if I would marry him and slipped the ring on my finger.  It was just like that, very intimate, no fanfare and yet full of promise of what was to come.

Hello

Thank you for visiting my site!

 This is my second time blogging and this time, I would like to share with you my adventures as a newly-married woman.  What makes me excited is this is the second phase of my life happening at an age when most people are already talking about their grandchildren!  Yes, my newfound readers, I got married at 50 (my first, and I dare say, my last!).

 I have a lot of still single, female friends, and they have told me that I am serving as an inspiration to them.  When most of us have already given up about finding a life partner, here comes someone for me out of nowhere!  And so, I have made them believe that fairytales (or miracles) can still happen!

 This site will chronicle my journey from where I am now and to where I am headed in the future. To give you a glimpse of what topics to expect, know that I have been a solo parent for 14 years, a media production executive for more than 20 years, a frustrated professional dancer who finds joy in social dancing,a D-I-Y organizer of all sorts of life events, an adventurous spirit in things to do and places to travel, a lover of beautiful things and experiences, a volunteer for causes serving the needs of the underprivileged, and a hopeless romantic in spite of all my heartaches and the troubles I see in this world.

 So do visit this site from time to time. I hope that in sharing snippets of my life, I will be able to help you in any small way or make you smile a little bit more, the same way that I am looking forward to knowing you and learning more about life thru your own experiences.

 Have a Fab day.  Always!

The Fab Ella